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Socializing in Pet Society

08 Mar 2009 by legendria

My heart lifted in happiness as I opened the official-looking letter. I won 500 coins in today’s lottery!! No, not a real lottery, the daily lottery in Pet Society.

When my friend first invited me to play Pet Society, I went in, took one look at it and promptly forgot all about it. Then, one day, as I was cleaning up my applications on Facebook, I saw the long-forgotten game and decided to just have a look-see…..and immediately got hooked on it.

What’s Pet Society? Designed by Playfish, it’s actually a social game where you become a pet. Unfortunately, you are only able to play the game on Facebook, so join up if you want to play. You’ll have a house and a neighbourhood complete with shops. So far, there’s a Furniture store (to buy chairs and beds and such for your house), a Luxury store (more expensive goods), a Clothes store (to clothe your naked pet),a Food store (for your starving pet), a Stylist (for a whole new look), a Bank (to get more coins to buy stuff), a Stadium (for exercise and to win more coins), a Cafe (to find more friends), and a D.I.Y store (to style your own house in your own unique design).

You can add friends as well who play Pet Society and visit their houses to earn points and coins.

Your house & some parts of the neighbourhood

Now, other than socializing with your friends in a whole new environment, there’s really nothing much to this game. The only thing I see people doing in Pet Society is buying the new furniture and clothes that come out every week, and having the chance to get a rare stuff from one of the mystery boxes in the Furniture store. The aim is to get more points to reach the high levels (and to increase the rooms in your house), and to earn as much coins as possible to buy stuff. Yep, that’s it. Simple, right?

At the moment, the highest level is Level 34, which takes more than 140,000 points to achieve. The maximum number of rooms for your house is currently 6, with 3 on the ground floor and 3 on the upper floor. Even though you can still earn points, your level will not increase, well, not until the Pet Society people does something about it.

Visiting friends

Now, on to the most asked questions from everyone new to Pet Society: how do I earn more money? Let me tell you straight-up, although I know that there are cheats available online (WAIT!! DO NOT GO SEARCHING FOR THEM YET!), I have to tell you that Pet Society WILL ban you from playing the game should you be found cheating in any way. And yes, they will know, and the players themselves will know as well. It’s not very hard to detect as cheaters tend to get too excited when ‘gaining’ coins and ‘earning’ points.

Now, this is how I earn money, and I earn quite alot.

Enter Pet Society everyday. Each new day, you will get a lottery mail, which, depending on your luck, will earn you 50 coins, 100 coins or 500 coins. I managed to win 1,000 coins the other day (very rare!!). Do not be fooled into thinking that the lottery mail will pile up if you didn’t visit your pet. The lottery mail will be replaced with a new one everyday should you not visit.
Visit each friend everyday. Each new visit will earn you 20 coins and 5 points. Every other visit on that day will just earn you 5 points.
Brush and clean all your friends. Brushing will earn you 2 coins and 7 points while cleaning will earn you 2 coins and 6 points. Please keep in mind that there are times when you won’t earn coins or points. This is normal.
If you have the money, buy food and feed your friends. Each feed will earn you 2 coins and 17 points. Don’t buy expensive food, just those 5 coins fruit will work. Even if you feed your friend a pizza that costs 20 coins, you’ll still only earn 2 coins and 17 points.
Brush and clean your own pet. Same as your friends, you will earn 2 coins and 7 points for brushing and 2 coins and 6 points for washing. What some people don’t notice is even if your pet’s hygienic and happiness level are high, you can still brush and clean them, and still earn coins and points. My record for brushing, so far, is a straight, non-stop 24 coins. *Update: It seems Pet Society has disabled this money-making-method after its latest upgrade. I have not managed to get any coins when my pet’s happiness and cleanliness bar are full.
Run through the trees in your neighbourhood. When you pass through a tree, you may be lucky enough to earn 1 coin from each selected trees. Everytime you enter a house or store and you re-enter the neighbourhood, run through the trees again to earn coins. I get an average of 12 coins whenever I ‘bang’ the trees.
Everytime your level increase, you will get 100 coins as a reward. So work hard for those points.
Everytime you earn a Trophy (such as for playing softball or visiting friends), you will earn 100 coins. Playing the frisbee, jump rope and softball will earn you 1 coin at random times as you play.
Hurdle-racing

Run the race at the Stadium everyday. Each day will give your pet 10 races. Each time you win a race, you will earn 30 coins and 20 points. If you get second, you’ll earn only 10 points, no coins, and last place will earn you 5 points, no coins. If you just want to earn points, you can select ‘practice’ and earn 20 points each time you win. Here are some hints to the hurdle race:-

To ensure your pet successfully jumps over the hurdle, click on your pet just as it reaches the start of the hurdle’s foot (that long dark grey thing on the floor).
If possible, click on ALL the banana peels on the track, yours and your friends. If you’re lucky enough, you can earn 1 coin for each banana peel.
Once your pet is about to reach the middle of the speed-mat, click on your pet for maximum speed. When the mat turns green, it’s the maximum speed, yellow means medium speed and red is usually unsuccessful.

There are other ways to earn points such as buying furniture and food (the more expensive the item, the more points you’ll earn) or giving your friends a gift. You’ll find out more as you play.

The Mystery Boxes

One trend that everyone who have money does it to buy those Mystery boxes in the Furniture shop, as I mentioned above. There are 3 mystery boxes; a 50-coin box, a 200-coin box and the whopping 500-coin box. The 50-coin one will get you mostly food, cheap furniture, some accessories and some rare clothes, such as Apron or Playfish t-shirts. The 200-coin box will get you pretty much the same things, but more expensive stuff. I usually get plants. If you’re lucky, you can get a rare prize such as a toy (I got a black toy duck), but if you’re really unlucky, you’ll get really cheap stuff, like the Fragrant Hyacinth (a 50-coin cheap flower) I keep getting. The golden mystery box is the one you want. The stuff you get from there is sooooo rare; a grand chandelier, a piano, a rare mask, a rare carpet, the stuff is endless. But, again, this is only if your luck is good. If not, you’ll still get cool stuff from time to time, or bad stuff that just makes you want to scream. For a list of items you can get from these boxes, check out http://kogaweb.net/.

It can get kind of addictive so trust me when I say, play only when you have lots of time to spare. Have fun!!

Goodbye, old man 2008! Welcome, new baby 2009!

05 Jan 2009 by legendria

So long, father time of 2008. It’s been a blast but you know how it is, out with the old, on with the new. Oh, hello, cute little baby 2009. What an adorable thing you are, filled with youth and a fresh beginning. We’re gonna have so much fun, yes, we are. Ok, I know I’m talking gibberish. Could be all the partying and the high of a new year.

Anyway, 2008 is gone and I have to say that I’m happy and sad to reach a new year. Happy ‘coz, well, hopefully the new year will bring more to life. Sad ‘coz, well, it’s a whole new year, the past is gone, I’m getting older (NOOOO!!!). But there’s something about odd-numbered years that I just don’t like, and I have no idea why. I hope the year would go well though.

2008 was a year of joy and pain for me, as I’m sure was the same for most people. Some of the miseries I faced were hurtful but they always had a silver lining behind them if I took the time to look through them.

I broke away from one relationship, which was bittersweet, but found someone else. I lost contacts with many people, which I have to say is a blessing in disguise because it helps to ease the tension I have always felt being among them. I discovered that a family member attempted to take advantage of my kindness many, many times, but I became more assertive towards this person because of it. I discovered that another family member couldn’t keep their nose out of my personal life and I warned the rest of the family of this busybody so as to safeguard their own personal details from this particular person. Also, I closed my business and moved to another premise, which was a big relief.

2008 was also a year of many happiness. My young cousin got married, and in a wedding very close to what she has wished for. Another cousin has fallen in love, finally, after years of being hounded by weird (and I DO mean weird) guys. My sister-in-law gave birth to a lovely baby girl, on the 8th of August 2008 mind you, and no, it wasn’t a Caesarean birth. I went to the first Formula One night race in Singapore (woohooo!!!). I managed to travel to a lot of places this year, my favourite being Pulau Tioman. And I finally got a new laptop (an Apple Mac!!! Wheee!!!).

Truth be told, I find 2009 a little bit daunting, I’m not sure why though. Actually, alot of people I talked to believe that this new year is going to be either a busy or a problematic year. I’m feeling that skittishness too, but hopefully, nothing too dramatic will happen this year. However, I have to be prepared for loads of weddings this year. There are already three weddings that I know of and it’s still only the first week of the year!!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot one of the most important things. With every new year comes that dreaded question; What’s your new year’s resolution? Well, I’m pleased to say that I really kept my resolution last year, which was to take as many photos as possible, and the amount of photo albums I have in my Facebook is proof of that. For this year, I’m still keeping to a simple and achievable resolution and I have made up my mind to…..(drumroll)…..write as much as possible. You see, I love writing, whether it’s stories, fiction, a monologue, scripts or blogs. I used to write alot back in my high school and university days but I noticed that going into the business world just kills your creativity. I haven’t wrote a decent writing in so long, I forgot the feeling when you get so caught up with your characters, as though you’re living their life right beside them. I finally got the inspiration for a story and I hope to at least keep at it until it’s done, instead of writing half-way. So good luck to me keeping my resolution and good luck to you in keeping yours.

There’s another resolution I should make for this year but I am unsure if it’s possible to maintain. I haven’t done it for a long time back in 2008, which was quite a record given my history, and I hope that this record remains unbroken for 2009. There were times when I’ve forgotten that I had this habit and at times, in certain lighting when the scars can be seen, the memories of each of those scars flooded into my mind. Hopefully it’s gone for good this time but I think I’ll keep to only one resolution for now.

No matter what happens this year, I hope that it will be a memorable one. I know that Malaysia will face some drastic changes this new year but I’m sure the rakyat (countrymen) can handle them, with decency and logic, I pray. Let us hope for the best this year, filled with enough happiness to keep us living but with enough sorrow to keep us humble.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Category: Life Tags: 2008, 2009, Happy New Year Leave a Comment

Review: Australia

29 Dec 2008 by legendria

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oy, oy, oy!!

It’s been a while since my university days in Perth, Australia, so listening to the slang in Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman’s latest movie, ‘Australia’, brought back some nostalgic memories. A word of advice before you go off to watch ‘Australia’; it is really long, about 2 and a half hours. If you are the type who, like me, is unable to tolerate noisy and fidgety movie audience, it’s better if you watch it in GSC’s Gold Class.

Now, I must warn you that those with strong racial feelings and heavily connected to Australia (such as an Australian, an Aboriginal or a Torres Strait Islander) are not recommended to watch this film. Like most historical movies, there are some scenes and dialogues that certain people might find sensitive or offensive. Example: For Malaysians, when we did the Tunku musical (a theater show of our first prime minister), the scene with the racial fights between the Chinese and Malays as well as the raping of our women brought back many unhappy memories to those who had lived through that tumultuous time. In ‘Australia’, be prepared for racism, indications of rape, some nature of magic and war scenes. If you can handle all these then by all means, watch it. You will definitely enjoy it. And no, it’s not one of those serious historical drama. I thought it was, too, when I first saw the trailer. How wrong I was.

The movie starts off with a brief history of the ’stolen generation’ and you’ll hear the voice of a half-Aboriginal half-white child, Nullah (played by Brandon Walters), narrating the story. Although it begins on a serious note, 10 minutes later, you’ll start laughing at Nicole Kidman’s character, an English aristocrat by the name of Lady Sarah Ashley, as she meet up with the rough cattle driver, Drover (Hugh Jackman). From the start, you can see the chemistry between Lady Ashley and Drover, not unlike the couple you often read in romance novels. You’ll get caught up with their relationship throughout the movie as their emotions move from despising each other to mutual respect to finally, love.

You simply must keep an eye on Nullah, the boy who often refers to himself as ‘creamy’, one who is not black or white but somewhere in between. Although the attention is focused on Lady Ashley and Drover (perhaps because of the actors representing the characters), I believe that the true star of the movie is this young boy. His story is one that will make you feel sympathy, fear and love for him, and at the end of the movie, you’ll understand why Lady Ashley tries so hard to keep him as her own child. By the way, being raised by his Aboriginal grandfather, King George, Nullah has learned the traits and customs of his ancestors, and you’ll see him perform certain rituals and songs of the Aborigines. He has a lovely singing voice. He also has an interesting use of words, with sentences that will make you laugh such as, “We gotta get those fat cheeky bulls into that big bloody metal ship!” I don’t remember whether the Aboriginals I met in Australia talked like that.

As with every film, there’s always a villain, and the problem with ‘Australia’ is I keep getting the villain (Neil Fletcher, played by David Wenham) mixed up with the helpful army soldier, Captain Dutton (Ben Mendelsohn). The face expression that they make is quite similar, especially with the squinty eyes and the downward frown. But don’t worry, you’ll find many reasons to truly depise the cunning Neil Fletcher as he goes out of his way to make Lady Ashley’s life miserable in the land down under, since he was deprived of taking over the ranch her late husband left when he was murdered.

I love ‘Australia’ immensely, not just because of the tremendously convincing acting, but how well everything (the plot, the historical events) merged together. Though long, every scene effortlessly flows into the next, and time becomes irrelevant as you get caught up in the story, the history, the romance, and the action. It is truly one movie to watch before you end the year of 2008.

As usual (I love doing this), check out the goofs from ‘Australia’ after you come back from the film. Though the film is directed by Baz Luhrmann, even the best of the best make mistakes.

Category: Movies Tags: Aboriginal, Australia, Baz Luhrmann, Hugh Jackman, Movies, Nicole Kidman Leave a Comment

Review: The Day The Earth Stood Still

22 Dec 2008 by legendria

As I sit here, fingers at the ready on my keyboard, I suddenly realized that I have no idea how to start reviewing Keanu Reeves’s latest film, ‘The Day The Earth Stood Still’. I’ve been staring at the computer screen for almost 10 minutes and it only came to my attention now that this is one of those rare times when I simply can’t find the words to begin an entry. Does this mean the movie has no effect on me whatsoever?

A remake of the 1951 film of the same name, the movie is about an alien that came to save Earth from the humans, who are seen as a destructive factor to the blue planet. Apparently, Earth is one of very few planets in the entire solar system that can support life, and Klaatu (the alien played by Keanu Reeves) has been assigned to activate the move to save all life beings on the planet…..except the human race.

When I first saw Keanu Reeves in the trailer of ‘The Day The Earth Stood Still’ (hence forth will be referred to as TDTESS), I had the impression that I was watching him play Constantine all over again. It’s kinda hard to differentiate his characters when his facial expression is almost always the same in every movie, and especially when the feel of TDTESS is similar to Constantine (guardian of hell vs bringer of end of the world). But to give him credit, he did bring the alien character, Klaatu, to life, but only for the first part of the movie. After that, he simply wasn’t memorable enough. I did, however, like the part when he verbally put the President’s secretary in her place.

That reminds me, it seems that in the movie world, whenever an alien comes to Earth, they always seem to land in America. Why is that?

Throughout the movie, you’ll start to wonder whether TDTESS is trying to show America in a bad light. Just because Klaatu and his giant sphere and robotic anti-violence friend landed in Central Park, the US government refused to let any foreign scientist or other nations from having any contact with the alien, and the President’s secretary wasn’t open to the idea of letting him speak to the the gathering of world leaders, indicating in her own way that the US speaks for the entire world. Then comes the violence from the US soldiers. It was bad enough that some jumpy soldier decided to open fire on Klaatu when all he wanted was to communicate with Dr. Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly), but to use firepower of tanks and fighter jets on the big-ass robot? Not very smart. No wonder Klaatu’s people think humans are scum, ‘coz in just a short phase, we’ve shown just how selfish and violent we are, not just to each other, but to other beings. Some welcome wagon we are.

As for Will Smith’s son, I didn’t realize that Jaden Smith was acting as Dr. Helen Benson’s step-son at the time, but I remembered thinking how annoying the character was.

Truth be told, the movie started off well. The script was good with bits and pieces of comedy here and there as well as sharp words that strike at the human core, such as Klaatu saying, “If the Earth dies, you die. If the human race dies, the Earth survives.” There was adequate action scenes what with the fighter jets flying through New York’s skyscrapers and the steel(?) locusts wrecking havoc in their path. However, the ending was just…..anti-climatic. You get the feeling that the movie never really ended and you sit there in the cinema, still expecting more even though the end credits are already rolling. But you have to admit, the movie makes you think, especially the constantly repeated sentence of humans only changing when they reach the precipice, the turning-point.

Do we really? Will we finally change our ways when we see that the Earth can no longer tolerate our inconsiderateness, our selfishness? Will we be like Klaatu’s people who only changed when they saw their sun dying? Will we then finally stop taking and start giving? Maybe we will, maybe we won’t.

So, I personally think that TDTESS is good for passing the time and maybe for making your brain work a little, but as a blockbuster, it may not match up to most people’s expectations. But if you are going to watch it, keep an eye out for these goofs at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0970416/goofs that IMDB found throughout the movie. I hope you’ll at least have a good time in the cinema.

Category: Movies Tags: end of the world, Keanu Reeves, Movies, remake, The Day The Earth Stood Still Leave a Comment

Junk or Treasure?

20 Dec 2008 by legendria

“AHHH-CHOOO!!!”

The loud sneeze traveled into the living room where my mom sat on the floor, riffling through bags of clothes, papers and old tubes of lotions.

“You better wear a mask,” she called out to me. “You’ve been sneezing non-stop.”

I sniffled and promptly let out another unfeminine blast for the umpteenth time. I was in the study/store room of the house, which was almost choked full of dust and ’stuff’ (my polite word for junk) that we don’t even know what’s in it anymore. A few days ago, I had this brilliant idea of finally cleaning out the room of its ‘indigestion’. Today, with my head throbbing, my nose sniffling and my throat sore from inhaling all the dust, I’m not so sure that I’m as smart as I think I am.

My mom, bless her heart, is an active charity-giver. She loves helping out her selected orphanage and frequently donates used clothes, toys and neccessities to the home. Unfortunately, whatever she collects from other people (boxes and bags of old items) are brought into the house, which are then disposed of into the study room, which is why the word ’store’ has been added to the room’s name.

And so, I kidnapped my young cousin to help me sort out the stuff, setting aside whatever my mom’s orphanage will not use, such as revealing clothes, into one pile and throwing whatever that is truly ‘a gone case’ (torn clothes, broken toys) into a transparent bag for the garbage-collectors. The thing is some of the stuff we were sorting out were actually our own toys, knick-knacks and clothes way back from our younger days.

As I pulled out some soft toys, I saw a toy guitar which my mom had bought for me and I held on to it for a while. I was thinking, “Oh, my mom bought this for me. I should keep it.” In the next instance though, I was shaking my head vigorously and told myself, “No, no, no! No holding on to sentimental value.”

You see, this is where my mom and I differ. My mom is the type who would hold on to something for so long because it reminds her of the past, and I’m not talking about a family heirloom or an item that signifies a specific memorable time. I’m talking about old magazines from the 80s, old empty lotion tubes, clothes that don’t even fit her anymore, those kind of stuff. My mom is a person who loves to say “Keep that. We can use it for (insert reason here).” No matter what it is, be it baggy clothes or old telephones, she’ll always think that it can be used when people come over, when we have a gathering, or incase of emergency.

My young cousin was facing the same ordeal as she slowly looked through her old Barbie dolls and cooking set. Though she was tempted several times, she repeated my sentence ‘No sentimental value’ and in the end, only took one small Pooh bear back with her.

I noticed that whenever most people spring clean their house, it’s always a battle to get rid of stuff. They are emotionally tied to their teddy bears which gave such comfort to them, to their high school textbooks that offered so much knowledge, even to their numerous coffee cups stained with the brown liquid. Because of what it represents, the owner finds it hard to let go. I was once just like that, but I learned from my aunt that you have to be ruthless when it comes to cleaning.

For clothes, any item that you haven’t worn in 6 months should be given away. For books, any title that you find even the least bit uninteresting should be recycled. The rule to cleaning is actually pretty simple; anything you don’t use, chuck it aside. It’s best to have someone who is firm with you when you clean because that someone will be asking, “Do you really need that?” and “Don’t you think it will be beneficial to someone else?” It will hurt to part with your stuff at first, but the feeling after the cleaning is of pure relief. It feels like a weight is off your shoulder. It feels like you can breathe in deeper. In the most basic sense of it all, it feels so much more spacious.

So, when you’re doing your spring cleaning, remember two simple rules; (1) Be ruthless, and (2) Throw/give away anything you haven’t used in a long while. Once you have hypnotized your brain into thinking that way, you most likely won’t have any problems differentiating junk and treasure.

Category: Life Tags: cleaning, junk, mother, spring clean, store Leave a Comment

Reunion: Speed (J-Pop Group)

18 Dec 2008 by legendria

I could only stare dumbfounded at the screen as I read the news. I simply couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that (1) it has actually happened, and (2) that I didn’t know about it. How could I not know that one of my favourite J-Pop groups, Speed, has returned to the music industry?

Ok, let me just give a brief intro to those who don’t know who I’m talking about.

Speed is an all-girl Japanese singing group, which consists of 2 lead singers, Imai Eriko and Shimabukuro Hiroko, and 2 back-up singers/dancers, Uehara Takako and Arakaki Hitoe. The girls debuted back in 1996 after attending Okinawa Actors School, singing J-pop, J-hip hop, R&B and dance music, and is one of the biggest selling female group in Japan. After putting out 3 albums (plus 3 compilation albums) with 11 singles, Speed disbanded in 2000.

However, in 2001, the girls grouped for a short reunion, holding a one night outdoor concert for an earthquake charity where they sang a new song, One More Dream. They held another concert in 2003, this time for the charity ‘Save the Children’ to raise money for poor children around Asia. Throughout their two reunions, the group came out with 3 singles, 1 album and 2 live concert albums.

And now, they have reunited again!!! And I didn’t know!!! Oh, what a lousy fan I am. I only noticed that they came out with a maxi single, Ashita no Sora (Ashita No Sora CD and Ashita No Sora CD+DVD versions), when I was browsing Amazon.com for their Save the Children concert DVD, which I still can’t find in Malaysia. The maxi single has 3 songs, Ashita no Sora (translated Sky of Tomorrow), Something New and White Love?STEADY?Body&Soul 2008, and also includes the instrumental version of each song. The DVD has the music video of Ashita no Sora as well as an Off Shot video. While I’m all delighted and excited, what I’m truly feeling is sadness…..sadness because nobody seems to be selling the maxi single in Malaysia, and it came out way back in November 2008!!!

I can’t believe it’s been more than a decade since I first heard of them. I mean, they don’t look like they’ve even aged much.

: Speed – Starting Over album

: Speed – Ashita no Sora maxi single

They have matured in other ways though. After disbanding, Arakaki Hitoe (the oldest of the 4, born April 7 1981) has gone to New York’s art school and is an accomplished artist with her graffiti-style paintings, having published an art book called Vibe Art, holding private art exhibitions and having her work featured on American hip hop album covers. Uehara Takako (second oldest, born January 14 1983), however, still stayed in the music industry, releasing 2 albums (First Wing in 2000 and Pupa in 2003), but extended her skills into acting in TV dramas and movies.

Imai Eriko (born September 22, 1983) also stayed in the music industry, at first as Eriko with Crunch, then as solo artist Imai Eriko and finally as elly. Like Takako, Eriko was also busy dabbling in acting but not busy enough to get married in 2004, giving birth to her son, Raimu. Sadly, Eriko divorced from her husband, 175R vocalist Shogo, in 2007. The youngest of the group, Shimabukuro Hiroko (born April 7 1984) remained one of the most popular member after Speed’s disband, having released 2 albums as a solo artist and 1 English jazz album as Coco d’Or with altogether 14 singles under her belt. She is, perhaps, the only one to totally focus on a music career.

I’m still upset that I can’t find Speed’s new maxi single. My last resort had been to download from the Internet (which I have) and to watch their video on YouTube (which I have) but it’s still not enough!!! Sigh, looks like I have to resort to ordering from Amazon.com again. If you like J-pop music, you really should give Speed a try (not the drug, the Japanese group). In my honest opinion, they are one of the top female groups in Japan, even better than MAX, and I’m HAPPY that they’re back, hopefully to stay for a long time.

Category: Music Tags: Eriko, Hiroko, Hitoe, J-Pop, Japanese, Music, Speed, Takako 4 Comments

Monsters-in-Law?

15 Dec 2008 by legendria

“I don’t think I want to get married.”

I looked up from my book and stared at my cousin, my eyebrows slightly raised. It was a surprise coming from her. I have always thought that marriage was a big issue for her.

“Ok,” I started slowly, putting my book down on the bed. “Why this all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know. I feel like there’s too many problems. I mean, not only are there all the issues with the wedding itself but there’s also the insecurities after marriage. Who knows if my husband will stay loyal to me. And what about the in-laws? What if they pretend to like me but after we get married, they’ll start treating me badly?”

There it was, I thought to myself. The dreaded word when one talks about marriage; in-laws.

I come from a family where, unfortunately, the in-laws are not exactly the nicest of people. Yes, yes, I’m sure that there are many people who married into perfectly nice and warm-loving families. I know some of my friends and family did, but if you knew the horror stories we have seen and heard, you’ll know why in-laws are often referred to as ‘monsters-in-law’.

Anyway, just to summarize a little bit about my family’s in-laws (just so you know that _I_ know what I’m talking about), here’s the synopsis. The siblings of the in-laws were all nice and friendly in front of our faces but once our backs are turned, the slander and bad-mouthing start. Partly because of their interference and story-telling, my parents are now separated. May their black souls be condemned to hell for all eternity.

So, back to my post. Sometimes I think, in my humble opinion, the family that we are marrying into expects too much from the new-comer, be it man or woman. It is a little daunting to be setting such a high level on someone who’s not from the family and who’s only starting to learn the family’s ways. It’s somewhat like expecting a newly graduated business student to write a business plan that is guaranteed to bring in a billion dollars. It’s one small step at a time, just like how babies start out.

There is another reason that may be the cause of rifts between the in-laws and the newcomer; jealousy. I’ve seen, in my own family, how just a little bit of attention can cause a person to turn into an evil green-eyed monster. Just because the parents-in-law like the newcomer’s cooking more or decided to give a present to the newcomer, the original sons and daughters, and sometimes even the other son and daughter-in-law, feel threatened. “Who does this person think he/she is, coming into the family and thinking he/she should get such attention?” It’s irrational, it’s immature, but yes, face the facts, it does happen.

I’m not trying to paint a bleak picture of marriage nor am I trying to discourage people from getting married but sometimes it is the in-laws who start the crumbling of the marriage. Like my mother often said, ‘When you marry, you’re not just marrying the girl/guy. You’re marrying their family, and their problems, as well’.

There are nice in-laws, like my sister-in-law’s family who are very close to each other and the newcomers, but it is your duty to figure out (1) if you want to marry into the family, whether they like you or not, and (2) if you can tolerate the family if they don’t like you. For example, one of my ex-boyfriend’s mom took him aside one day and asked him if he really wanted to marry someone with my kind of family background. What she said was, “Children usually follow their parents. If the parents are divorced or from a divorced family, most likely the children will repeat history in their own marriage.” Do I really want to have a judgmental mother-in-law who branded me without even knowing me indepth?

Not everyone is lucky enough to get in-laws that are warm and welcoming. Those who do, are indeed very lucky. Even luckier are those who have a spouse that believes in them, who stands up for them when confronted with the in-laws. My friend’s mom is lucky to have a husband who believes nothing his siblings tried to inform him of his wife, which were all exaggerated stories, slander and half-truths. He stood up for her because he knows her for who she is. After all, it is he who married her, who sees her everyday, who goes to bed with her every night, who talks to her about every little thing, who is taken care of by her, who went through tough and good times with her.

Pray that all goes well for you before and after marriage and pray that you will at least get along with your in-laws. If not, then try your best to stick through it all with patience and determined understanding. I hope all goes well.

Category: Family, Life Tags: Family, in-laws, jealousy, marriage, problems 2 Comments

Neither A Borrower Nor Lender Be

14 Dec 2008 by legendria

Take the above quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet to heart. Please. Even if you don’t read anything I’ve written so far, please just take this one advice from me.

Allow me to tell you a story.

Once upon a time, a young man named Fairus Saidon saw a girl in his new workplace at one of Malaysia’s telecommunication companies. He decided to get to know the girl and later made her his girlfriend. It all started well, the new couple seemed happy together. Then…he started asking her for money.

A few amount at a time, he asked for money to help with a business idea he had concocted, or so he claimed. He himself had no money as he was unemployed, having left the telecommunication company later on in the relationship, so the person he turned to continuously was his girlfriend. The girl loved him and so of course, she loaned him whatever amount he needed. After all, which girl wouldn’t want to help out her future husband, who had proposed to her in the first few months of the relationship?

And so hundreds of Ringgit turned into thousands and the amount would have kept increasing if Fairus Saidon hadn’t decided to leave the relationship when his girlfriend was having personal problems, leaving her high and dry while making a play for another girl.

One year plus has come and gone since then and he has yet to pay the amount he owed even though he had promised time and time again, only to deflect them all with excuses after excuses. “I have no money” and “I don’t have a job” are the most frequently used excuses and when those doesn’t work, he always turned to his anger and harsh words to scare off his ex-girlfriend from asking for, what is rightfully, her money.

The morale of the story? Never lend money and never borrow money unless you sincerely believe you will see the money again and unless you can pay off your loan. I have heard many stories of men and women alike who borrow or ask for money and were never seen again. These people are called parasites, they feed off your kindness and generosity but are never around when you are in trouble.

It’s a problem when you lend people money when you yourself are actually in need of that money. Never use your friendship or your trust in people as a collateral in money-lending, it costs nothing and often brings nothing in return.

It is true that money can break relationships. I myself have lost a friend because of money. I have heard of brothers and sisters fighting over their mother’s inheritance as she lay dying on her bed. I have read of partnerships crumbling to dust in a debate over company shares. I have seen perfectly logical and mature adults refusing to talk to each other for years all because of a sale of a piece of land.

So please, just take this quote to heart even if you don’t listen or read anything else. It will help you gain some peace of mind in this tumultuous world of life.

Category: Life, Something to Think About Tags: borrowing, Fairus Saidon, lending, money Leave a Comment

Internet Deprivation

13 Dec 2008 by legendria

As I’m typing this post, it’s raining heavily outside. The sky has turned white with all the gathering rain clouds and occasionally, I can see a leaf being whipped around by the strong wind. In the background, the singing of Paramore’s ‘Decode’ from my laptop speakers mingles with the vague sound of thunder. Most people would be curled up in a cozy corner with a mug of coffee or hot chocolate and enjoying the hypnotic rhythm of rainfall. Me, I’m taking this moment to sit down and wonder…why isn’t my Internet connection stable?

Ever since this morning, my Internet has been screwing with me. When I awoke to discover that my laptop is disconnected from my network, I puzzled over this phenomenon. Shrugging, I simply restarted my router and my Mac’s AirPort. To my glee, I watched as the connection went through and opened up my Facebook as I always do in the morning. Suddenly, from the top right corner, an error message popped up to inform me that I have been disconnected. And so I restarted my router and AirPort again. And again, and again, until finally I left the bloody things and went out for lunch.

Now that I’ve returned, I thought, “Surely by now, the Internet is stable” and clicked on my connection. Yes, I can finally go online!!! Buuuuuuuut…no. Nope, once again, my connection has thrown me out of cyberspace on my butt. It seems to get this sick joy of seeing me happy and letting me open a few pages before kicking me out and watching my face fall in misery. Damn you, unstable connection. So now, I’m simply typing into my ScribeFire and refusing to open any Firefox page until I see that the connection remains online, or I’m going to slam the router into the ground.

Yeah, you might think, “Oh, my God. This girl can’t live without the Internet.” Hey, I resent that. I once went a whole week without Internet…’coz I was stuck in a place with absolutely no modem or computer whatsoever.

Sigh, maybe I should pick up one of my dusty books and settle down to read until Streamyx deems me worthy again to enter cyberspace.

Category: Life, Ramblings Tags: connection, internet, online, Streamyx Leave a Comment

Review: Body of Lies

13 Dec 2008 by legendria

My hand flew to my mouth in shock when the bomb exploded, my mind still fresh with the face of a sweet elderly Chinese woman holding bright yellow flowers as she posed for her husband’s camera at the famous tourist market. Tears slowly trailed down my cheeks as I stared in silent anguish at the destruction the bomb caused, her smiling face still floating around in my mind mixed with repeated thoughts of “She’s never going to smile again. She’s dead.”

That is what I will remember. If anyone at any time asks me how Leonardo diCaprio’s movie, Body of Lies, was, that is the first scene that will pop into my head.

At a length of slightly over 2 hours, Body of Lies is great for those who want something more intellectual and different from the fluff that are shown most of the time in the cinema. It has violence, foul language and acts of betrayal and conspiracy mixed in with the rage of war. By the time you reach the end of the movie, you won’t know who to trust anymore and you will see the world and everyone around you in a whole new paranoid light. It is definitely not for the faint-hearted, especially during some of the torture scenes. I actually had my eyes closed when Leonardo’s character got his fingers bashed.

Although it seems like every other spy-war movie, you’ll definitely see a major difference just from one character in particular. Hani, played by Mark Strong, is a very powerful man who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. But he does not soil his hands with torture and blood, no, he uses better, somewhat kinder methods to get information. Partnering with Leo’s character, Roger Ferris, Hani only had one very simple rule; never lie to him. You can say that he is a benevolent man armed not with guns and grenades but with a strong belief in trust and a hard grip on integrity.

However, like every single spy-war movie I’ve seen, there must always be a girl. Take Spy Game starring Brad Pitt and Robert Redford for example. I thought the plot was good but getting into trouble in the middle of a U.S. and China trade agreement because of a girl? Does that really happen in real life? The same thing goes for Body of Lies; the heroine was supposedly kidnapped and the hero goes off and drops everything to save her. I didn’t see him go to that much extra lengths to save the guy he framed in order to arrest the real master mind.

The movie started off great, suspense and action in all the right dosage…until you reach the hour and 20-minute mark. That’s when you’ll start glancing at your watch and wonder, “How long more?” This restlessness will continue for another 20 minutes until finally, the climax of the movie starts.

Body of Lies is worth a watch but only for those who can follow the politics of war and understand certain Muslim references. For those who have watched it, have you seen the goofs at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758774/goofs? I love to take note of irregularities in movies and IMDB (Internet Movie DataBase) is one of the best websites to spot mistakes that the movie directors made.

Category: Movies Tags: Body of Lies, Leonardo diCaprio, Movies, war Leave a Comment