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Stranded 2

18 Jul 2009 by Legendria

Writing about my mom forgetting me in the first Stranded post reminded me of another incident when she left me behind…..in a foreign country.

On a group tour in Thailand one year, the bus brought us to this gigantic mall-like place where they sell local spices and ingredients. The whole busload came down so there were alot of us here and there in the shop. Being a young teenager, I stuck with my mom the entire time and eventually got bored. Standing a few feet away from her as she bargained and chitchatted with the counter lady, I turned around to watch the other counters.

It was a few minutes later when I turned back to my mom, only to find her missing. I shrugged inwardly, thinking she must be just a few counters away. So I walked around slowly and started to notice that the group I was touring with were getting less and less. Thinking that some of them have gotten bored and went back on the bus, I continued my search for my shopaholic mom. Going completely around the entire shop, my worry grew steadily as my mom stayed missing.

I peered through the glass front door and saw that the bus was still there so I didn’t start to panic yet. Walking a few feet away from the door, I heard running footsteps and saw my mom bursting through the door.

Apparently, after buying her stuff, she looked at her watch and hurried to the bus. Sitting in her seat, she started to put her purchases away and heard the tour guide asking if everyone was on board. My mom nodded and said ‘yes’ along with the group as she finally leaned comfortably into her seat. She glanced at the seat next to her and only then did she realize that she had left her daughter behind. She yelled at the tour guide to wait as she flew down the bus steps to get me.

I still can’t believe to this day how my mom can actually not realize she had left her daughter behind. Suffice to say, I was not happy with her for that entire day.

Category: Stories Tags: humour, Stories, stranded 2 Comments

Stranded

08 Jul 2009 by Legendria

Have you ever been stranded somewhere, either by yourself or by other people? I have gone through some really humourous (well, it’s funny now but it wasn’t back then) times of being stranded. Here’s one my cousin recently reminded me. She said she’ll never forget this as long as she lives.

Back when I was younger, I kept hanging out at my cousin’s house in Shah Alam (about 25 minutes drive from my house). Either my dad or mom would send me there and pick me up after they were done with their chores and work. So one day, my mom sent another cousin and I over to play.

As usual, just before evening, my mom came to pick us up, and here I have to relate my cousin’s side of this experience.

My cousin was already settled in the back seat with all her stuff while I was still standing outside the car with my door ajar. Suddenly, my mom put her car into gear and started to slowly drive the car away. With my door still ajar, I sarcastically said, “Bye, mom” but still she drove on and the movement of the car caused the door to close lightly.

My cousin, who was in the car, could only look at my Shah Alam cousin and I through the rear window as we slowly became small specks in her view. She turned quickly to the front and said to my mom, “Auntie, isn’t your daughter following us back?” To which my mom did not reply.

My poor cousin thought my mom was angry and so she kept quiet, not daring to say anything more. Just as they were reaching the highway toll, which was about 5 minutes from my Shah Alam cousin’s house, my mom asked me, “Is my book there at the backseat?” When there was no answer from me, she repeated her question. That’s when my cousin burst out in a panic, “She’s not here!!”

It took my mom 5 minutes before she realized that her daughter was not in the car with her. When she first drove away, my Shah Alam cousin and I thought she was joking or will notice my absence just before she turned off the road. We could only stand there and stare after the car, my cousin in puzzled wonderment and me in a somewhat nonchalant anger with my hands folded across my chest. Apparently, we were still standing in the driveway when my mom sped back down the road to the house.

Category: Stories Tags: humour, left behind, Stories 2 Comments

A School Story 2

22 Jun 2009 by Legendria

Here’s a school story that I don’t remember but my high school friends do.

One day, four of us decided to walk to Subang Parade to meet up with some friends. Keiko was terribly tired and lagged behind slightly with Dyna while Michelle and I was up front. The walkway we were on was just opposite Subang Parade, where a stall was selling ‘pisang goreng’ (fried banana) nearby a huge drain.

Being in front, Michelle and I were not aware of what was happening but as Dyna and Keiko remember it, it went like this.

Keiko, being tired, was not obvious to her surroundings and simply walked on, not even noticing that she has somehow walked right into the drain path and fell into it. Standing in the drain, with only her head sticking slightly out, she wondered why her view has gotten distorted and puzzled over why she could only see legs. She stared for awhile, still standing in the drain, before it finally registered in her head that people were laughing and that she had somehow fallen in without even realizing it.

Pity her, as she tried to climb out by herself, the rest of us were too busy laughing to help.

Category: Stories Tags: falling, funny stories, humour, Stories Leave a Comment

Unique Individuals

11 Mar 2009 by Legendria

There are many wonders in this world and I believe humans are the most wondrous being on Earth simply because everyone is a unique individual. No two people are exactly the same, even twins. However, what I think makes humans the subject of atttention is the sheer stupidity they sometimes have, even with all that brain power God has generously given.

I received this in my email the other day and it simply must be shared. Not because it’s fun to laugh at people or to put these people in a bad light. I’m posting it because at one time or other, I’m sure we ALL have gone through a similar situation before, including me. Enjoy.

****

One day, I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, ‘Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where???’

***

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.’

****

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’.

***

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kilogram.

****

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car, it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk…

***

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount….

****

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?’ I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned…

***

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…

****

While working at a pizza parlour, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.’

What I found hilarious was the sentence right at the end of the e-mail. Someone wrote: “Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!”

Category: Jokes, Life, Stories Tags: human nature, humour, people, Stories Leave a Comment

Weird Phone Calls

17 Jan 2009 by Legendria

I’m sure you’ve been through this before; someone calls you and you tell them it’s the wrong number and yet they call again and again, or some stranger starts to ask you even stranger questions. Well, I’ve had my fair share of weird phone calls and here’s one of my weirdest calls.

A few years back, an unknown number called me in the afternoon. I answered it, thinking perhaps it’s one of my friends using a new number, or something. A male voice replied my ‘hello’ and started asking some odd questions.

“Hello,” he said, “Is this the number to call about the shop rental?”

“I’m sorry?” I answered. “I think you have the wrong number.”

“But this is the number written for the rental.”

“I’m not renting anything. I think you have the wrong number,” I repeated.

“Well, what’s the number then?”

My face started to frown. “I don’t know but this isn’t the number you’re looking for.”

“If you don’t know and I don’t know, then how?” he said, sounding a little annoyed.

I looked at the phone quizzically, still frowning, and finally just jabbed the ‘end’ button. He didn’t call again, thank God.

Look, it’s pretty simple. If you’re calling for something and the person on the other end is telling you they have no idea what you’re talking about, then PUT DOWN THE PHONE!! Or check the number that you dialled again. The whole world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.

Category: Stories Tags: humour, phone calls, Stories, strangers Leave a Comment

Toilet Humour

12 Dec 2008 by legendria

Have you heard of stories or have a personal experience of being locked in a toilet? Well, just to cheer myself up (and all of you out there), I thought I’d share some ‘toilet humour’.

One day when the cousins had an outing at Midvalley Megamall, the eldest girl needed to go to the loo. Since it was a public holiday, the rest of us knew that there was going to be a very long queue so we told her we would wait for her at the nearby shops. After nearly 10 minutes have passed, we all went to see what was the hold-up. Surely the queue couldn’t be that bad.

As we stood outside the entrance, one of us went to check the line but when we couldn’t find her anywhere, we thought she must still be in the loo or has gone out to find us. Just as I was about to dial her number, her name popped up on my caller screen.

“Where are you? Still in the toilet?” I asked.

“You have to come help me. I’m stuck,” my eldest cousin replied, slightly panicked.

“Stuck? What do you mean stuck? Stuck where?”

“I’m stuck in the toilet.”

“How can you be stuck there?”

“I can’t get the door to open. I’ve been trying and trying. Pushing, pulling, it won’t open,” her voice rising slightly through the speaker.

Laughing, I told the girls what was happening and all four of us went helter-skelter into the washroom. We called her name to find which stall she was in and she stuck her foot out from under the very first stall. The women queuing for the toilet just watched the impromptu entertainment show as we tugged and pushed the door. It was true, it wouldn’t open. We asked her to try the lock again but she said she had turned it all the way and it still wouldn’t open.

Just as we thought we needed to get hold of the maintanence people, I saw that the outside lock had a groove that would just fit a Malaysian 10 cent coin. Vaguely remembering a scene from somewhere, I dug out a coin from my jean pocket and fitted it into the lock and turned.

Lo and behold, the toilet door opened.

When she saw us, she fiercely hugged the closest cousin to her and instead of coming out, she dragged the cousin into the stall to prove that the lock was indeed faulty. Apparently, even though the latch was turned all the way, after years of wear and tear, a small piece of it managed to get stuck in the lock, creating (cue eerie music) ‘the toilet stall that can never be opened from the inside’.

And so we left, laughing and teasing her as we went on with our shopping, and later in the day, we returned to the same washroom as another cousin needed to answer the call of nature. There, we discovered that yet another poor soul has gotten herself stuck in the toilet and her friend had to call the cleaning lady, who was there at the time, to open the door. She used the exact same coin trick I had earlier. The thing is instead of locking the stall to prevent further use (and further imprisonment), the cleaning lady just left it as it is. I pity the woman who would be the foul demonic stall’s next victim. I’ll pity her even more if she was all alone and it was near the mall’s closing time with no one around to notice her predicament.