On The Bus

On The Bus
(18/11/05)

Quivering, shivering, shaking.

No, I am not cold, though this is colder than the climate that I am used to. No, I am not cold.

I’m nervous.

What should I do? What do I do? I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I knew I shouldn’t have followed through with my idea. Trying to show courage, bravado. Now I am alone, all alone.

I am scared. I want my mommy. I want my daddy. I want my brother. I want anybody, anyone at all. I’ll even take a drunk. Just please don’t let me be alone on this bus. Not with this cranky, unshaven bus-driver.

It’s 11.30, Friday night. I should have been home by now. Home, safe, with people. But, noooo, thanks to my dawdling, I just barely made it on the last bus.

I didn’t want to take it, no, I didn’t. Not when I saw this bus-driver with his gruff manner and even gruffier voice. But what chance did I have?

Where am I now anyway? Where is he taking me? Why is it dark? Where are all the street lights? Where are we? Are we even still in the city?

I should ask. Yes, I should.

But I’m scared.

But I need to know.

I slowly make my way to the front and meekly ask where we are. He just grunts. O-kay, what do I do now?

I fearfully ask again and still he grunts. I really need to know so I ask again, feeling desperate and panicky now. He starts yelling and I run back to my seat, way in the back. Quiet, quiet, just stay quiet and maybe he’ll forget that I’m here.

I sit still for the minutes that followed, slightly hunched and muttering ‘quiet, quiet’ like a mantra.

Wait. He’s slowing down. Why is he stopping? Why here? Oh, my God. Is he going to rob me? Rape me? Here, in this deserted place? Someone, help me!

He stomps towards me and I cringe. My eyes fall shut. I don’t want this to happen. No, no, no!

His voice. He’s talking. He… he… he says we’re at the last stop and he wants me to get off.

I hurriedly, and gladly, got off and ran a few steps away from the bus and the grouchy driver.

Phew, that was a relief. Thank God nothing happened to me. But now I got another problem.

Where am I? And how am I going home?

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